you say goodbye, I say hello.

Goodbye two-thousand-and-ten, you will be missed. Unfortunately, though, you kicked 2009’s butt in terms of growth and challenges and blessings, and so I can only imagine how much better 2011 will be.

Things I crossed off my list in 2010:

–        Learn to drive stick shift

–        Like what I like, dislike what I dislike. Gracefully.

–        Perform a song (sing and play) on guitar in front of someone with a semiunbiased opinion (a.k.a. NOT my family or stacie).

–        Have at least two established mentors that I meet with regularly.

–        Keep in contact with teachers and professors that I care about.

–        Make a list of movies that I want to see and actually watch them..

–        Make a list of books that I want to read and actually read them.

–        Stop caring how much I weigh. No scales!

–        Make cds for people more often.

–        Play (meaning practice) guitar at least twice a week.

–        Wear brighter colors.

–        Face something that I’m afraid of.

–        Pick a team to cheer for in each sport’s season.

–        Stay out later, because sleep is never better than even one moment of memories made while awake.

–        Wear sunscreen all the time.

–        Learn some good jokes for timefilling.(“Chuck Norris puts the FIST in pacifist.” lol)

–        Write, underline, highlight in all the books I read.

–        Play basketball more often.

–        Try new foods.

–        Take my grandparents to lunch.(happy birthday Boggie!)

–        Donate blood.

–        Throw a fantastic party.

–        Celebrate my 22nd birthday with people I love. (I LOVE YOU GUYS, THANKS SO MUCH!)

–        Talk about books more and movies less.

–        Get to know what’s around home.

–        Write a song.

–        Dance in the rain.

–        Clean someone else’s house.

–        Remove all the music from my ipod that I don’t like or don’t listen to.

–        Work at APU.

–        Learn to use public transportation.

–        Get either a map or a GPS so I won’t get lost all the time.

–        Compliment people all the time – be the kind of person I’d want to be around.

–        Recycle.

–        Censor the media input in my life – especially movies. Stop watching TV.

–        Do something nice for the Marines.

–        Go back to my natural hair color, for the sake of my self-confidence.

–        Go country line dancing.

–        Always be people’s designated driver.

–        Write positive things on all my mirrors to avoid negative self-talk.

–        Only have pretty candles and scents that I actually like.

–        Do my taxes the right way.

–        Only 1 cup of coffee, 1 shot of espresso, or 1 diet coke/caffeine soda per day.

–        Have people in my life who tell me I’m beautiful even w/o makeup.

–        Faithfully write to Brother and Raymond and Brili.

–        Ask questions when I want to know more from teachers and pastors.

–        Whenever a random person crosses my mind, let them know.

–        Call my dad at times when I DON’T need anything.

–        Never forget that it is more important to love and speak the truth than be friends.

–        Challenge people’s impressions of me.

–        Let nothing be more important than how madly in love I am with Jesus.

–        Make friends with servers, waiters/waitresses, baristas, and drivers.

–       Don’t settle for not knowing people’s names. Ask if I don’t know

–       Go on an exciting first date. (done! september 11th, 2010!)

–        Become “a regular” somewhere, and be able to order “the usual” there. (thank you classic coffee)

–        Send people Bible verses randomly.

–        Keep my life easily movable.

–        Invest in the right bookcases.

–        Have some kind of Christian emblem on my car

–        Give flowers to a boy. Just to stir things up.

–        Get rid of any clothes that don’t pass my modesty standard.

–       Start making collages again.

–       Send my mom flowers.

–        Live somewhere I feel comfortable and can decorate.

–        Decide on a grad school and program.

–        Race someone and win (beat all the kids EXCEPT Cade at swimming)

–        Watch and identify cloud shapes.

–        Watch snow fall. (HUME 2010!!)

–        Go to a Laker game.

–        Go to a museum.

–       Pray at every meal.

–       Remove un-encouraging speech from my conversations. (this will be a lifetime goal)

–       Do Christmas cards the right way.

–       Own an umbrella.

–       Hang my purses up somewhere organized.

And here are the books I read:

1. *The Host by Stephanie Meyers

2. Crazy Love by Francis Chan (recommended by Daniel Huskey)

3. Help, I’m a Youth Worker by Mark Oestreicher

4. Experiencing God by Henry & Richard Blackaby (recommended by Mark Sanford)

5. One Best Hike: Mt. Whitney by Elizabeth Wenk (recommended by Wendy Taber)

6. Dear John by Nicholas Sparks (recommended by Elle Hall)

7. Deep Ministry in a Shallow World by Chap Clark and Kara Powell

8. Untitled Manuscript by Danielle Holt (reading and editing)

9. Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane (from by Andy Martin)

10. Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry by Doug Fields

11. Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry by Jim Burns and Mike Devries

12. Faith-Forming Junior High Ministry by Drew A. Dyson

13. Teaching Your Kids Healthy Sexuality by Jim Burns (from Ryan Palmer)

14. I’m Going to Light Myself on Fire by Bo Chancey (from Daniel Huskey)

15. Complete Guide to Junior High Ministry by Dave Veerman

16. Junior High Ministry by Wayne Rice

17. Anthem by Ayn Rand (from Janice)

18.When Church Kids Go Bad by Les Christie

19. The Giver by Lois Lowry (from Emily Hyder)

20. For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn(from my dad)

21. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd

22. Youth Pastor by Houston Heflin

23. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (from my dad)

24. Irresistible Revolution (from Chris Korbel)

25. I am America, and So Can You by Stephen Colbert (from Chris Korbel)

26. Forgotten God by Francis Chan (from Daniel Huskey)

27. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (from Ann Mosier)

28. And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh (from Ryan Palmer)

29. Shaping the Spiritual Lives of Students by Richard R. Dunn (from Ryan)

30. *Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

31. *New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

32. Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson (from my mom)

33. Sex God by Rob Bell (from Daniel Huskey)

34. *Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer

35. *Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer

36. I Am An Emotional Creature by Eve Ensler

37. Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris (from Rachel Lotz)

38. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (from Stace)

39. Youth Ministry 3.0 by Mark Oestreicher (from Ryan)

40. YOUthwork by Don Pearson and Paul Santhouse (from Ryan)

41. The Youth Worker Book of Hope by Tim Baker (from Ryan)

42. I Gave Dating a Chance by Jeramy Clark

43. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer

44. College Ministry 101 by Chuck Bomar

45. Getting Fired for the Glory of God by Mike Yaconelli

46. Better Safe than Sued by Jack Crabtree

47. *Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen

48. Jesus-Centered Youth Ministry by Rick Lawrence

49. Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus

50. So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore

51. Politics of Jesus by Yoder (from Chris Korbel)

52. Hush by Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee (from andy Martin)

53. * Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist (from Jamie Noling)

54. To Own A Dragon by Donald Miller and John MacMurray (from Alison Spiller)

55. Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist (from Alison Spiller)

56. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (from Erik)

57. A Beautiful Mess by Kristin Ritzau

58. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by JK Rowling (from Emily Hyder)

59. Help! I’m a Woman in Youth Ministry by Kara Powell

60. Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Eliot

61. Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell

62. The Spoken Word Revolution by Mark Eleveld

63. Looking for God by Nancy Ortberg

64.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling (from Emily)

65. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling (from Emily)

—> so the goal for next year is to read more than 65 books. 🙂

I learned a lot this year.

I learned about trusting God and His provision. There was a lot of time this year that I didn’t have a job or a place to live and God never let me be without His care and comfort and somehow, He always provided exactly what I needed when I needed it. He knows what I need much better than I do. I’ll take that into 2011 and never doubt that He cares for me more than the birds of the air or the flowers of the field.

I learned about security. I had no idea coming into this year what a huge part of my life was overrun and dictated bby my insecurities. And thanks to some good friends and some good books and some good words from the Big Man, I can see the places where He provides security and a foundation that I can build on that is unshakable because it is on truth. I’ll take that into 2011 and remember that His promises are steadfast and relentless.

I learned (a little) about what it means to be vulnerable; to trust someone else with the barest parts of my soul and to believe that they will take care of it. I am lucky enough to have some wonderful Christian girls who surround me with love and truth in even the most delicate areas of my life. I also consider it a blessing from God that I get to be in a relationship with the most amazing guy I know and to explore what it really means to be in love. To be vulnerable is to be out of control and therefore, able to be hurt. But to trust is to believe that any hurt that comes is worth the risk. And I do believe it. I’ll take this journey into 2011 and keep on pushing myself to be a little more vulnerable than I want to be at all times. That is how love grows.

I learned about change. Change truly is the only constant thing in life, especially in the life of a Christ-follower. And it seems that around every corner is another huge life change. Neither people, nor jobs, nor habits, seem to have any sticking power. This seems to keep me on my toes and keeps everything interesting, though. I’ll take that into 2011 and not put stock in plans for a future I cannot be sure of, only to enjoy the day that is placed before me; the present; for that is what I can see and fill with love and worship.

And now, hello to two-thousand-eleven. If the way that I started out this year is indicative at all of how the year will go, I am VERY excited about what the coming months will hold. This year, I will continue the excitement that was my LONG list of things to accomplish from last year into this one. I want to have goals that are more measurable and able to be completed, for the sake of crossing them off the list

1. Make another book list and read all the books on it.(65 books or more)

2. Walk on a beach at midnight.

3. Drive a stick shift again, conquering my fear of doing things I’m bad at.

4. Tip well.

5. Put my phone away when I drive.

6. Go to two new restaurants and try foods that are foreign to me.

7. Visit and spend time with my grandparents.

8. Donate blood again, conquering my fear about how awful it was last time.

9. Perform spoken word.

10. Label a jar “For Paris” and start planning that trip.

11. Faithfully write to Brili, Raymond, and my brother.

12. Get a massage.

13. Workout and play basketball regularly.

14. No more caffeine.

15. Call my mom and dad instead of texting them.

16. Pray before every meal, no matter who I am with.

17. Learn to cook, this means buying better ingredients to have at home

18. Apply to grad school again.

19. Meet Steven Tyler.

20. Get back to hiking, conquering fear of stupid asthma attacks.

21. Take a yoga class.

22. Fly a kite

23. Finish my tattoo

24. Read a wilderness survival book

25. Memorize the book of Philippians or James.

26. Sit and stand up straight.

27. Pay off my credit card completely. ($100 every month)

28. Plan Dudesie Road Trip 2011 and videotape it!

29. Find a kitten I’m not allergic to.

30. Drive across the Golden Gate Bridge

31. Collect one particular book with different covers/editions/artwork/etc.

32. Ride in a helicopter

33. Start a dream journal.

34. Go to a movie by myself.

35. Build/do something creative with a bookcase.

36. Renew my CPR and First Aid certifications.

37. Visit the Grand Canyon, Salvation Mountain, and Yosemite.

38. Have a silent retreat.

39. Go to the zoo and feed a giraffe.

40. Go rock climbing.

41. Take a college class just for fun.

42. Watch the sunrise .

43. Visit Keith and Erik in Oregon and Kimy in Washington.

44. Go to the doctor and the dentist.

45. Avoid being on my computer with my headphones on in public.

46. Fast. Especially from things other than food (internet, texting, facebook,etc.)

47. Walk or ride my bike whenever possible.

48. Write a book.

49. See Tyler Hilton in concert.

50.  Conquer my fear of vulnerability (fall in love)…that didn’t work out so well. 😦

Carpe diem. Seize the day.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” [Proverbs 16:9]



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