this is straight from my journal today…my small group is reading life of the beloved…ergo:
the fact that i am the beloved is the most intimate truth about me, as well as the greatest gift i can ever give any person in my life. i will not fall into self-rejection, because i know that the temptation is there, since my arrogance and pride only covers my insecurity and self-doubt. the voice that tells me that i must prove myself to be considered valuable is not God’s voice. each time i listen to the Voice that calls me the beloved, i’ll discover within me a desire to hear that Voice longer and more deeply. the Voice that says,
I have called you by name, from the very beginning. you are mine and I am yours. you are my beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. you know me as your own as I know you as my own. you belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover, and your spouse, yes, even your child. wherever you are I will be. nothing will ever separate us. we are one.
from the moment i claim the truth of being the beloved, i am faced with the call to become who i am, though it is the greatest spiritual journey i will ever have to make. becoming the beloved means letting the truth of my belovedness become enfleshed in everything i think, say, or do. when my deepest truth is that i am the beloved, and when my greatest joy and peace comes from fully claiming that truth, it follows that this has to be visible and tangible in the ways i eat and drink and talk and love and play and work. as a christian, i am called to become bread for the world: breakd that is taken, blessed, broken, and given. this has to be the core of my being, and i must be genuinely and thoroughly convinced that God is pleased with me and loves me just for who i am. not for anything i do, and not loving me any less for anything i don’t do.